experience

Quite a few years ago I came close to dying. I had eaten a piece of toffee, which was probably bigger than I thought at the time, swallowed and somehow something went wrong and it didn't get very far before capping my air supply off completely.

It is a strange experience. You spend your whole life breathing without thinking much of it and then suddenly, nothing.

There is for a brief second of disbelief, which brings a non logical moment of stupidly. I tried to breathe through my mouth as well as my nose. Nothing.

Then you realise you are against the clock.

I read a website of someone I know last night, which mentioned they had taken an overdose at somepoint in the past although there was no explict details into the reason why but I have a good idea.

It wasn't something I commented on or indeed judge. In my past a girlfriend took an overdose when I was sixteen but never suceeded. I have heard from friends who have lost someone who has suceeded. I learnt at an early age, life is far from perfect and there is a darker element to life we shield ourselves from and others. An undercurrent.

We like to think everyone is living happy or on a level of what we see as normailty and when it fails we like to think we are unaffected at arms length or are dismissive and crictial. When you spend time to understand people, their reasons, fears and dreams, you find the real people beneath the mask; sins and all.

The following is inspired by those I have met and their tours of their demons.