flash fiction

Holiday Brochures

Posted Thu, 04/03/2010 - 1:59pm by Paul Howard

Morris the Martian was beginning to think planet earth was not the ideal holiday location and the holoscreen brochures were either lying or very out of date.

So far he had been shot at by various armies, mobbed by photographers when he went pulled up to ask for directions and got a parking ticket, although luckily his trusty Vapourtron had resolved that little issue, and it was becoming increasingly clear by the minute there were no big lizards running around in fancy dress and drinking Moo Moo juice all day, which meant only one thing. No chance of getting laid.

Samaritan

Posted Fri, 26/02/2010 - 1:36pm by Paul Howard

“I'm lost and alone in the dark and I need a light to show me the way.”

Samantha was shocked by the maturity from one so young. She resisted the urge to say “Well…” to break the bricks of silence, which had cemented themselves across the table. She thought for a moment searching for something wise and meaningful. Something to provide a ray of hope.

Johnny raised his head from the tabletop and look of desperate expectation filled his face.

“Well….”, said Samantha, “…..everything will be okay now…”

“No it wont!”, screamed Johnny furiously banging his head against the table.

Home Safe

Posted Tue, 16/02/2010 - 1:50pm by Paul Howard

Larry The Leprechaun was sure this was the place, a big arch with stripy colours and an entrance sign which said “Slippery when wet” but if that was the case then he was in trouble.

Maybe the SatNav was having one of those moments like when it took him along the yellow brick road and through a barn while telling him jokes about bits of string standing at a bar because it fancied a change of scene.

No this was definitely the place thought Larry, he let out a long sigh, there was only one conclusion; he had been burgled.

The Evolution Of Art

Posted Thu, 04/02/2010 - 1:58pm by Paul Howard

Caveman George was not a professor but he could draw a dam good stickman and that, that was what people wanted not this wheel business and talk of its application as revolutionary mobile dinner plate.

Yes this was what people wanted, thought George, something to brighten their cave up and remind them of those good old times hunting, the injuries and getting lost due to bad directions off the PomPom the shamen.

Yes this was it a master in the making, thought George, as he smudged his finger on the wall.

“What a pile of crap”, said Wally behind him.

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