Bad Love

Love is destructive and confining as it is creative and liberating. Anyone who feeds you negativity, which you accept does not love you, they own you and as hard as it is you must break free before your will is ground out of you.

At the weekend, I was called to help my Aunt off the floor. She is elderly, eighteen stone and trapped in a relationship, which will in no uncertain terms kill her and has been in it's own way for decades.

She has been bullied, had the fight ground out of her by her selfish and manipulative "husband", who at times treats her appallingly. Her weight has increased over the years with her unhappiness, stress, depression and frayed nerves. All of which he has contributed to and never having a positive input.

This was the second time I had helped lift her off the floor. The first time my uncle treated her like no less than a sack of spuds, at least this time he had a little more care even if he couldn't keep his mouth shut.

I learnt along time ago that there are no guaranteed happy endings. Nevertheless it is hard to remain composed. My aunt had a positive and great input into my early childhood and to see her living such a life is heart breaking.

The following is an expression of the feeling returning home after helping her off the concrete floor in the backgarden.

The Fallen
For Eileen

A heart has fallen.
Set an inch from a funeral parlour
her gold band has become her noose.

He has fed her eighteen stone
heaped the circle until it is mountain,
filled her hands like Eve’s snake.

She whimpers.
Struggles for breath.
Death is never to far away

And he
proclaims his love
in the relentless bark of a dog.

A sack of woe
we pull, pause and lift
bring her to sit but never to stand.

He whips on
a husband spouting his love in condemnation
like a bad parent to a child.

He owns her and
Every single stone.